Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth, whenever it is a damp, drizzly October in my soul, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can. Specifically, I dream of cruise liners. I’ve never been on an ocean cruise, but I’ve been on at least two North Sea ferries and in my mind, cruise ships are paradise.
They are places of luxury and possibly a few exotic murders – ocean-going adventurelands that perversely harbour swimming pools and waterslides. Imagine it, a boat with a pool. Such delicious unreason. Here to disabuse me of these visions is No More Robot’s Cruise Control, which makes cruise ships look like hell.
