Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants! Who sits in his room and plays games on his own like a miserable git? Me.
Which means I’m probably not the target market for the SpongeBob Movie Limited Edition Xbox controllers, which seem full of fun and whimsy and childhood delight. Okay, so they’re just screen-printed regular Xbox Wireless controllers, available in both regular and Elite flavours, but even I had to raise a smile at the bizarreness of the design.
I mean, the central Xbox button and the X face button are his pupils, for goodness sake. That means you can jab SpongeBob right in his (presumably porous) eyeballs with regularity, which sounds like a fun evening in with the family.
They’re also available to customise as part of the Xbox Design Lab suite, so you can… I don’t know, make them look like SpongeBob has a terrible illness? The Elite version seems to be going that way by default, as the outer grips look to be an odd mix of textured black plastic and bile green stamping. Anyway, there’s a new SpongeBob movie on its way, apparently, and now you too can buy into the marketing campaign.
Which might be a little hard on your pocketbook, because they’re not cheap. The standard version is $99, while the Xbox Elite model starts at a stonking $185.
It always was pretty pricy, the Elite. Speaking of which, I’m not sure why you’d go for the premium feel of Microsoft’s top Xbox controller with SpongeBob’s gurning visage plastered on top of it, but I’m sure for someone out there, it’s the perfect holiday gift.
Me, I’m getting socks again I reckon. That’s alright. They’re practical, and I can use them to soak up my middle-aged tears. For the rest of you, go and have fun. You goofy goobers, you.
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