Among the many other wins and stumbles of the recent Borderlands 4 patch is a revelation that actually has me shocked. You know that one shield, the one that was super horny? Well, turns out it wasn’t meant to be that way.
Alright, context: In Borderlands 4, The Cindershelly is one of those gag items that tends to make its way into every entrant. Given each game has 87 bazillion guns (give or take a bazillion), shields and mods to loot, Gearbox likes to sneak in a few dashes of joke sauce to its equipment soup.
The bit this time? The shield doms you. You take damage or do anything, and the Cindershelly will let you know that you’re subhuman scum. Here are a couple of sample lines, courtesy of our poor put-upon guides writer, Rory Norris, who had some things to say about it last month:
- “Touch that barrel and scream for me”
- “Did you let go without asking first?”
- “Don’t stop till I allow it”
- “Worship me”
- “Show me how close you can get, worm”
- “What an obedient worm you are”
As Rory explained, the shield was very chatty. Too chatty, in fact, as the problem “only gets worse in combat, where these voice lines trigger even more often, like if you take damage or kill enemies. In some cases, you could even get cursed with two horny outbursts back-to-back.”
Welp, turns out that was a bug. As the patch notes explain, “Order Legendary Shield Cindershelly combat voice lines now trigger at the intended frequency, less often to be less distracting.”
So there you have it; if the Cindershelly was making you uncomfortable, it’ll… well, it’ll still do that. Just less often, more selectively. After all, it’s not the frequency of the shield voice lines whispering coquettishly in your ear, it’s the motion of the ocean. Or so they say. Now I just need a submissive submachine gun to pair with it—you could call it the Quickshot. I’ll give you that one for free, Gearbox.
Borderlands 4 Shift codes: The new key connection.
Borderlands 4 Black Market location: New legendaries, no grind.
Borderlands 4 Harlowe builds: The amped-up Gravitar.
Borderlands 4 Rafa builds: The speed-demon Exo-Soldier.
Borderlands 4 Vex builds: The spooky Siren.
Borderlands 4 Amon builds: The fierce Forgeknight.
